He hadn't been any help. "It could be worse," he'd said. "Imagine if she got married to someone else with a hyphenated name? I mean, how'd you like to have to deal with, oh, Langenderfer-McMahon-Caserowski-Clark?"For that matter, if you were going to put the kid into alphabetical order for some reason or another, like in a grade book, where did you put her? Under "L", or "M", or maybe "Mc?" If you chose the last, did the "Mc" go ahead of or after the "M"s?She'd had Tiffany in the classroom for seven months now, and still hadn't come to a working conclusion, but usually put her in with the "L"s, since the child insisted on the use of the full name. She, at least, didn't have to worry about it; that wasn't an issue that bothered her as a nine-year old.Snakes apparently didn't bother her, either, although there were plenty of girls in the class and some boys that let go with a totally predictable, "Oooooh, yuuuuukkk! when Tiffany pulled the peanut butter jar containing the dead snake. She got a huge bonus check and another big raise after her firstreview. In my own performance review my boss said if I didn't showimprovement he would have to terminate me.One Saturday morning Donna was up before me. When I finished showeringand got dressed she was in the living room on her phone. She put thephone down, looked up at me and said, "Hey Bill, guess what we're goingto do today?" I don't know. Grocery shopping?" No silly, we're going house shopping?" Donna, I haven't had a raise in five years. There's no way I can affordto own a home now." With my new salary I can afford to buy a home. I can't wait to get outof this dumpy apartment and into a real home." But we've been splitting the rent here fifty-fifty. How would I be ableto pay my half of the mortgage and utilities and stuff?" Bill, I'm going to buy a house. It will be my house; not our house. Ofcourse I want you to move in with me. But please don't worry about themoney side of it. Since I'm working more.
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